The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side
This has been a topic of discussion that some of us at the Time to Play Foundation have been thinking and talking a lot about this over the past week.
This proverb has been around and passed down from generation to generation. I talk about the wisdom of those who came before us in our book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now. These idioms and proverbs interest me greatly.
The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side … Think about this for a moment. Do you or someone you know always think they would be so much happier in a different life situation?
I believe this philosophy is actually dangerous to a certain extent. Why? Because each time you run toward something while running away from something, it may surely lead to becoming disappointment.
I actually tried to do this in the year 2004 when I decided that moving our family to Florida would be a solution, would give me peace (after all, life is hard, you know?) and a new way to start over. I was looking for “easier”. Thankfully my husband is the voice of reason. Moving, he said, would not solve anything, and that once the “honeymoon period” was over I would find life the same as before we would have moved. We didn’t go, which did force me to reevaluate my life situation, evaluate potential options, and make changes that were more reasonable.
I believe we could apply this “running away from” theme to anything and everything in our life experience, relationship or job. But, guess what? The circumstance surrounding the concept of “it will be better when” does not necessarily provide a solution, and, sometimes potentially, can create more problems.
In many cases, the issue you are running from will follow you, because, perhaps, they start inside you.
The most important thing we can do is find peace and happiness in ourselves. This is something we’ve been researching and working on, too (see PREinvent YOUR Life® article and survey for more info). At this point in my life, I do not believe that there is anything tangible in this world that can fill a void inside of us: not another person, not a new car, not a new home. If there is unrest and despair in our hearts, we have to evaluate why and what we can do to start to heal.
I found an article that included this quote that I thought most appropriate here: Buddha once said that the way to happiness is actually quite simple; the secret is to learn to want what you have and not want what you don’t have. Again, I believe the secret to peace and happiness is in ourselves.
Robert Fulghum wrote, “The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you are.”
Nurturing ourselves is where we may have to start. Take a moment today to stop and look deep inside.
We know what we need.
We sometimes just have to take the time to listen, evaluate our best options, stop reliving the past that keeps us “a prisoner” (chapter two of my book, “We are all tortured souls”), and move forward towards what we need to do so we can enjoy life.
After all, I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to enjoy life.
It is time to play…
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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life. The concept behind time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE. Please see http://timetoplay.com/ for more information.
Image credit: simpledailychange.com
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