Communication – the C word


Yesterday a person posted on Facebook that they held the door open for a young mom with a toddler and the woman walked by without saying thank you.

I was shocked to see that there were 70+ comments that crucified the mom for her rudeness.

We really don’t really know what is going on in the life of another person.  I think we’ve gotten to a point where we need to give others a break.  Think of those who you come into contact with today.  Maybe it’s one of your kids who has stress from a situation or obligations in school, or a spouse who had a workplace concern, or a person who walks by you at the store in a hurry.  Maybe their “rudeness” is not intentional or directed to you.

We really don’t know what’s going on with a person unless we ask or speak with them with sincerity — and not in a confrontational way — to find out what is on their mind or if they need assistance.

As far as this situation, for all we know, this woman was on her way to visit a sick relative, or hurrying to pick up another child from school.  I am a mom of 3 kids.  I worked full-time when they were young.  My husband worked nights.  We were always heading somewhere – to religion, sports, scouts, etc.  Although I try very hard to be aware of my surroundings (more so now-a-days), I had 10,000 things to take care of at once in those days.

I call communication the “C” word.  I believe lack of communication skills it is one of the most damaging emotional intelligence skill sets for relationships – whether at home, in the neighborhood, or a workplace.  Think of how not communicating effectively can cause hostility between people.

While it is important to be kind and respectful to others, I think we need to sometimes give people a break.  I am so surprised how this was such an issue, and the angry comments that were shared.

I believe we need to be a kinder and gentler people.

Today, think of those you come into contact with — maybe someone could use a smile or a friendly word.  It’s not always just about us and our feelings, but what we can do for others.

I believe that it’s time to enjoy your life.

I believe that it is TIME to Play <3 Love, Doreen Guma

PS — for coaching for Self-Awareness, one of the 26 Emotional Intelligence skills, please call the Time to Play Foundation, 631-331-2675 or email

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC:  Doreen holds a Bachelor of Science in Management, a Masters in Business and Policy Studies, is a Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives, a Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Certified Life Coach, and the author of the book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.

Doreen is the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit organization with the mission and purpose to enrich the lives of others through programs, public awareness outreach activities, events and learning opportunities that further the concept of enjoying life.  The Foundation’s website,, has resources, events and articles for a person to learn what they need to know for a better life.  Contact Doreen at 631-331-2675 or email:

The Foundation offers an unconventional approach in a non-threatening manner to provide solutions for the life situations that people may encounter.  Working in healthcare since 1987, and with her background in quality improvement, she has followed statistics showing our society’s current evolution to be more “sick and sad”.   She developed the Time to Play Philosophy:  you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work / life balance for quality of life and believes everyone has the ability to enjoy life.

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