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Time to Enjoy Life — 7 Years and Counting!

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WOW!!!!!   I can’t believe this photo was taken 7 YEARS AGO!!!

The concept for “Time to Play” started in 2010, and this photo was taken to show the importance of making a life balance from working so hard (note the business suit) and the need to make time to enjoy life and to remember to take time to play (aka ride like the wind).

Time sure does fly – 7 years – it seems like yesterday (or forever, depending on the day LOL!).

But, I keep on keeping on… against all odds… reading, researching and gathering valuable information, people and resources and making small strides forward to build the Time to Play Foundation.

WHY?

Because I believe everyone has the opportunity to enjoy life.

I believe that all that is missing is their awareness to KNOW THEY CAN.

My vision for the Time to Play Foundation is to provide a reminder and reinforcement and a message that we can love our life. To provide a VISIBLE, proactive and non-threatening approach for people to learn what they need to know to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance and to enjoy life.   It’s a different approach to our usual reactive counseling, recovery and reinvention.

And, that’s the ultimate goal, right?

To enjoy our life?

Because, even though people say they can’t, and that they have to struggle and have negative life experiences which “make them stronger”, I believe we can enjoy life by learning to be aware of our choices, which in turn will create a better life for ourselves and our communities.

And, further, I believe we can teach our youth to better deal with everyday life situations so they can proactively create the best life they can for themselves.

History will repeat itself if we let it.  I think it’s certainly time for us to stop letting it.

I believe that AWARENESS is the key.

I believe it is just that simple, although people will surely argue with me.

I believe that awareness is the first step to stop feeling helpless and hopeless.  That our awareness is the first step to finding the possible and the possibilities to make a shift in our lives and stop living our stories, or our experiences that do not serve us, to achieve the goal of life enjoyment.

I believe that it is time for us to stop making excuses and to start taking action.

SO…. TODAY:

Make a STOP sign.

Make a lot of STOP signs.

Put them everywhere.  Every time you feel a negative thought or feeling coming, look at it.

Then, STOP.

Take a moment to reflect on what is the root cause of what is causing that negative feeling or situation, and then think of what you can do to STOP the momentum and shift and / or make a small change to move towards a better feeling and a preferred life experience.  Take a moment to STOP and evaluate your options and make it happen.

And, for those things you cannot change… and there are many things in our life situations that we cannot change, maybe today is the day for you to let them go.

Maybe, today, it is finally time to create a peace with whatever is stealing your ability to love your life.

Maybe, today, it is time to stop reliving the stories, because all they are at this point is just that… stories.

I’m not perfect at this.

I need constant reminders to STOP, as well.  I am thankful for my husband Jim every day.  He is a constant reminder to me to STOP.  He is my accountability partner.  Think of someone who you can ask to be an accountability partner to keep you on track.  I am grateful that he is there with me to make sure I shift, because those things we cannot change can surely create havoc in our lives if we let them, and, for sure, negative feelings don’t serve us.

Remember — I believe we just have to be aware we can shift.

SO….

Make today the day you start to make that dream happen.

Make today the day you start to move forward.

I believe that each and every one of us is incredibly powerful and can truly move mountains.

Today it’s time to feel our power.

Why?

Life is short, and I believe we are put on this earth to enjoy our life.  I believe that every moment of every day we should be enjoying life.  I believe every moment of every day you should feel like you are playing.  If it does not, with your new awareness, STOP, take a moment and evaluate your situation.  Identify things you can change and start to look at the options available to shift something.  Make one small change.  Look at the possible.

I believe it’s really that easy.

I believe there is a solution to every problem, and, I believe that the only reason a problem is a problem in the first place is because we label it to be so.

So, maybe today, it’s time to stop making excuses.  Maybe today it is time to make that change — maybe today is your “someday”.

I believe it is time to enjoy our life.  It is time to play.

P.S. — I believe everyone has something to offer that can help someone else.  The Foundation was formed on the concepts of people helping people and collaboration = success.  Please call me to join the movement at 631-331-2675, and please check out our website at www.timetoplayfoundation.org.

Looking forward to hearing your suggestions and comments.

P.S.S. — I have found a key in our super cool PREinvent YOUR Life(r) program and Social and Emotional Intelligence.  If you want to change your learned behavior NOW, not after 20 years of counseling, call me at 631-331-2675.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC:  Doreen is the author of the book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life (www.ifIknewthenbook.com).  She has earned a Bachelor of Science in Management, a Masters in Business and Policy Studies, is a Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives, a Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Professional Coach, and Certified Life Coach.

She has worked in healthcare since 1987 with many of those years in quality improvement, and has watched the indisputable increase of the “sick and sad” in our society. Believing there is a better way, she founded the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit organization with the mission and purpose to enrich the lives of people and communities through programs, public awareness outreach activities, events and learning opportunities that further the concept of enjoying life.

The Foundation’s website, www.TimetoPlayFoundation.org, has resources, events and articles for a person to learn what they need to know to create a better life.

 

 

Rational vs. Irrational

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rational vs irrational

Today’s reflection stems from my thoughts regarding this past week’s emotional roller coaster.

With people getting attacked for their views, I believe it really emphasizes the idea behind the science of social and emotional intelligence education.

Personally, I have to admit that this past week was hard for me.  Even with all the training I have had in life coaching and emotional intelligence coaching, I unfortunately allowed the whole negative energy to get “in” and affect me in a negative manner.  I can’t remember being so exhausted.

That being said, each experience does broaden our own personal awareness in order for us to use the experience to make future changes to enhance our quality of life.

Based on my conversations with many people, very few seem to have awareness about social and emotional intelligence. I find it worthwhile for this article to focus on what it is and what it can do for individuals and corporate organizations going forward.

Social and Emotional Intelligence is a learned behavior which I believe is the root of individual behavior and our quality of life.

Social and Emotional Intelligence has been defined as:  The ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships.

I believe that having an individual strong Social and Emotional Intelligence is so important.

I also believe there is an appropriate level of behavior that people need to exhibit when reacting to any situation, whether personal or in a workplace.  I believe that reactions need to be one of rational expression where we need to consider the whole situation and that we need to consider the ramifications of our own personal behavior.  I believe our behavior and reactions positively or negatively impact our lives and our relationships.

For example, think about explosive behavior in a workplace.  If you have a boss that does not consider all sides to a situation, but just reacts in an explosive manner, how does that make you feel?

This can be applied to any circumstance or relationship including that between yourself and your spouse, your parent, your child, your coworker, a checkout clerk, or that of a person driving a car next to you.

Our reactions are truly important to consider, which brings me back to why I wrote this article which discusses the potential different perceptions of people regarding rational vs. irrational behavior.  I believe we need to become aware of, and have a need for, broad social and emotional intelligence coaching.

In today’s society, I personally do not think we have the filters we used to have for our behaviors.  I also believe we have, as a society, have come to accept less controlled reactions from others.  It has become commonplace for bullying, riots, road rage and mass shootings, and we seem to have become desensitized and have come to expect these occurrences.  Personally, as we are not a barbaric society, I believe that this is step in the wrong direction.

While I do believe self expression is important, I also believe it is necessary to consider the “whole” and that it is the responsibility for each of us to control our reactions to not impede the rights, health, or to negatively impact the lives of others.  Ever hear the idiom “it is a two-way street”?  It may be necessary to consider that compromise is a necessary consideration in our interactions with others.  The problem with this is that we have to recognize how our behaviors and reactions relate to compromise and finding solutions to situations in a manner that is best for all.

I believe a strong social and emotional intelligence is necessary to have a quality of life for not only an individual, but the whole.

The following is an excerpt from the book, Emotional Intelligence written by Daniel Goleman in 1995:   “The emotional lessons we learn as children at home and at school shape the emotional circuits, making us more adept – or inept – at the basics of emotional intelligence.  This means that childhood and adolescence are critical windows of opportunity for setting down the essential emotional habits that govern our lives”.  He noted that hazards await those who, in growing to maturity, fail to master the emotional realm.  He further noted that deficiencies in emotional intelligence heighten a spectrum of risks from depression or a life of violence to eating disorders and drug abuse, and how teaching children the emotional and social skills they need can keep their lives on track.  Mr. Goleman reported that a survey of parents and teachers showed a worldwide trend for the present generation of children to be more troubled emotionally than the last:  more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.

Again, acknowledging that social and emotional intelligence is learned behavior, I advocate for the need for us to learn these necessary skills. Emotional Intelligence is an important component of the Foundation’s PREinvent YOUR Life® program.

During my Social and Emotional Intelligence coaching education, I learned there were 26 competencies that affect our reactions and behaviors that include: Emotional self-awareness, accurate self-awareness, personal power, behavioral self-control, integrity, innovation and creativity, initiative and bias for action, achievement drive, realistic optimism, resilience, stress management, personal agility, intentionality, empathy, situational awareness, service orientation, communication, interpersonal effectiveness, powerful influencing skills, conflict management, inspirational leadership, catalyzing change, building bonds, teamwork and collaboration, coaching and mentoring others and building trust.

I believe that you can build on your emotional intelligence strengths and that, if you have vulnerability in any particular area, it will negatively impact your quality of life and the quality of life of those with whom you interact.

Please feel free to contact me at 631-331-2675 if you have questions regarding social and emotional intelligence.  I would be most willing to discuss your personal situation.

With the knowledge that we are only able to control ourselves, our behavior, our feelings and our actions, I believe it is necessary to start with ourselves to insure a better future.  I believe it is time for us to each be personally responsible for our ability to achieve quality of life.

Just imagine the possibilities.

After all, it is time to enjoy life. It is Time to Play.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC:

Doreen holds a Bachelor of Science in Management, a Masters in Business and Policy Studies, is a Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives, a Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Professional Coach, Certified Life Coach, and the author of the book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.

Doreen is the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit organization with the mission and purpose to enrich the lives of others through programs, public awareness outreach activities, events and learning opportunities that further the concept of enjoying life.  The Foundation’s website, www.TimetoPlayFoundation.org, has resources, events and articles for a person to learn what they need to know for a better life.

The Foundation offers an unconventional approach in a non-threatening manner to provide solutions for the life situations that people may encounter.  Working in healthcare since 1987, and with her background in quality improvement, she has followed statistics showing our society’s current evolution to be more “sick and sad”.   She developed the Time to Play Philosophy:  you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work / life balance for quality of life and believes everyone has the ability to enjoy life.

Photo credit:  https://sophistics.wordpress.com

 

“First” vs. “Best”

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Best

There has been a lot of talk about “Firsts” lately.  What does “First” really mean?

So, I got to thinking…

As far as achievement, I believe “First” is a milestone.  For example, “first” steps, “first” car, “first” words.

Merriam – Webster dictionary defined the adjective of “First” as: coming before all others in time, order, or importance (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/first)

“Firsts” can, also, perhaps, encourage others and provide examples to others on how they can move forward and achieve, too.  I believe motivating others and encouraging others is truly important.  I believe it’s our personal responsibility to strive and grow and to help others do the same.

“Firsts” are definitely important, but are they the MOST important?  “Firsts” can provide people a vision to build upon and then to achieve beyond what was “first”.

Throughout the development of the concepts behind the Time to Play Foundation, I have come to realize and believe that everyone has something to offer that can help someone else.  I say all the time that we are all not going to be “Oprah” – Oprah is Oprah and we are ourselves — but imagine if we each contributed a tiny bit… if we each used a little of our gifts, expertise and personal power to move things forward, to make our communities better, to reach out and help another.  Imagine the impact this could make.  If all of the “regular” people really worked together…

I believe moving forward and making things happen is incredibly important, and do not believe that we, as a whole, have an ability to stay stagnant.  People have incredible imaginations.  At this point in my life I do not believe that anything anyone can come up with is impossible.  I think that if you dream it, you can do it.  Look at the 3-D printer – who can even believe such a thing is possible?  Look at how far technology and modern conveniences have come in just the recent past.  Our grandparents would not even believe it.

This brings me back towards achievement, motivation and “Firsts”.

Personally, I believe “Bests” are even more important.

Think about it.  If you put an ad in the local newspaper to watch your children or your dog, would you hire the “First” person that answers the ad or the “Best” to be able to take care of your prized possession?

Would you put your money in the “First” bank you drive to or the “Best” and most responsible?

Would you have an operation with the “First” doctor you visited or the “Best” to perform the surgery?

These are a few things just to get you thinking.  We have to be careful and responsible with our personal choices.  We have to research and we have to trust that we make the right decisions for all things that affect our lives and the lives of our children.

“First” or “Best” can make a dramatic difference.  “Firsts” give us a starting point that provides us with the fuel to create “Bests”.

Today, look at what you are and what you have achieved… then look at what is your passion.

We have all accomplished “firsts”.  Let’s continue to strive and grow.  We can have the “BEST” life ever.

Just imagine the possibilities.

After all, it is time to enjoy life. It is Time to Play.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified social and emotional intelligence coach, certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.  The concept behind time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE. Please see https://timetoplay.com/ for more information.

Image credit a2ua.com/best.html