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Happiness for Dummies: Hardiness (Chapter 6)

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The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris

This book makes you think! The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I do marvel that Happiness for Dummies is not a “dummies” book, that it does have valid content that makes you think!

Dr. Gentry described hardy personality in Chapter 6 of Happiness for Dummies– people who are resilient, who are survivors.  He noted that hardy people grow stronger, happier and more competent over their lifetime (p. 73).  Dr. Gentry described the 3 “C’s” – control, commitment and challenge which are traits of hardy people.

People with control are masters of their own destiny and take ownership.  They have commitment which helps them have a sense of purpose.  Interestingly, on page 77 of Happiness for Dummies, Dr. Gentry described how cultural changes have caused people to become disenfranchised.  Some months ago I started to realize that so many people have become isolated — maybe due to the internet, texting, etc.  He speaks of the need for people to reconnect, which is a goal I have for the timetoplay site.  Last is challenge — Dr. Gentry described this as how people look at stress.  He noted that conflict creates missed opportunity, and instead of people considering situations a challenge, stress promotes negativity which creates the downward spiral we’ve read about in past threads.  Instead we should all see stress as opportunity.

I did love this statement:  Anything worth doing is worth doing well (p. 78).  I recently went to a training seminar where they used “The way you do anything is the way you do everything”.  It’s a really visual, though provoking statement.  It should make you strive to achieve.  I know I’ve implemented this into my thought process and have noticed a marked difference in my day. Happiness for Dummies is a great read for anyone!

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Embrace the timetoplay philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to enjoy life.  It’s time to enjoy your life.  Be sure to check out timetoplay.com for resources for a better life.

Learning: The Key to Enjoying Life

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I think I’ve finally got it.  I think I’ve finally figured out how to enjoy life.  I had an “ah ha” moment (thank you Jim Ryan for the terminology of Ah ha moments).  I think the key to enjoying life is learning.

Here’s some of my thoughts on how learning can help you enjoy life.  I realize it’s kind of simple:

  • Learn what you need so you can enjoy life – there are so many resources out there.
  • Learn from past mistakes
  • Learn from life experiences:
      • Learn who you want to be friends with, who makes you happy, who makes your life better, who makes you feel badly about yourself and, therefore, who you should not “hang out” with
      • Learn what makes you happy
  • Learn what you can to make your life better
  • Learn what you need to make your life what you want it to be
  • Learn to be what you want to be in your career
  • Learn how to do something you’ve always wanted to do
  • Learn to live in the “NOW” and to observe the little things that you’ve been missing because you’ve been too busy to notice
  • Learn a new skill and how to make money
  • Learn how to eat healthy
  • Learn how to communicate with your kids
  • Learn how to be a community again.

I’ve realized, as it pertains to myself, that stress is brought about by the pressure we put on ourselves in our daily lives.  And, when you look at society, I think this has a big part of why people are ill or depressed now-a-days.  How many of us can be described as “tormented” souls.

So, I’ve determined that, at least for me, learning is the key to enjoying life.  And, that’s the true reason I started www.timetoplay.com.  It was my way to learn how to enjoy life.  I’ve learned so much, so far, from the amazing professionals that are part of this people-helping-people project, and know I will continue to learn how to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance because of the amazing things they write.

And, I have learned from the books I have been reading that have been recommended to me as part of this project, books I would never have read.  Learning is the answer.

There is a solution to every problem, and, as Eckhart Tolle noted in his book, The Power of Now, problems are created by our mind.  So, I will continue to seek out what I need to “fix” the “problems” that I have created because I have not taken the time to learn a better way because of being too busy or too overwhelmed.  You know you get caught up in the momentum of the day to day.

Through all of these resources, I’ve learned that I can be more in control, and look forward to continue learning.

I had a “woo hoo” type of day.  A day that was so long in coming.  And, I know there will be more to come.

I invite you to learn with me and join my journey of discovery to enjoy life.  It’s Time to Play.

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Embrace the www.TimetoPlay.com philosophy — you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to enjoy life.  Visit www.timetoplay.com to find resources for a better life.

P.S. — Totally check out the TimetoPlay.com discussion forum.  I’ve been working really hard to develop a discussion forum to include things we need to enjoy life.  It’s not a Facebook!  It’s a place to go and get what you need and then go out and do it!

Ugg. I Choked. Lesson Learned.

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So, I had a great opportunity yesterday.  I was on a live radio show to promote www.timetoplay.com — my “midlife crisis” project that had taken a good part of my life last year.  My passion.  My “pebble in the pond” to start the ripple to make a life better for — well, I’m shooting for everyone.

So, we get to the radio station early.  We talk to the interviewer.  I’m psyched and ready to go.  Since we were early he suggested we relax outside on the patio while we waited.  “Sure,” I said (as I’m always so accommodating).  What I should have said was “let me set up my stuff first and get all ready”.  Well, lesson learned.  At 2 minutes to 1 when we are supposed to go on the air, he comes out and said “let’s go”!  I’m not ready.  I’m scrambling.  “10 seconds!”  I still didn’t have my notes out.  I choked.  I couldn’t recover.  I couldn’t focus.

Lesson learned.  Throughout my life I’ve always been so accommodating to everyone.  Always trying to please – even if it was at my own expense.  Even if it didn’t make me happy.  Why?  Not sure.  But this is something many women do.  There are lots of articles on it.  We don’t say what we think.  We hold it in.  And then we become frustrated, sad, ruin relationships, become unhappy.

Lesson learned.  Next time I need to take more control.  Next time I need to say what I need in order to succeed.

OK.  I know it won’t happen.  I’ll be as accommodating as always.  But I will think about this experience and, hopefully, it will start to help me.

If anyone has suggestions on how to speak your mind or if anyone knows why we don’t (I think more so for women), I’d love to hear from you and to start a discussion on this.

In the very near future I’d like to start a podcast to help people through the www.timetoplay.com site — you know, to help provide the whole resources for a better life thing.  This might be a very good topic to cover.

Let me know what you think.  Comment here, call me 631-331-2675 or email @ info@timetoplay.com

Doreen

A Labor of Love

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Today is the day the www.timetoplay.com site “launches”.  It is finally done.  And the TimetoPlay van is rolling!

We’ve worked on this for over 10 months.  “It’s done”, I’d declare.  But, it was not done.  We’d go back to the drawing board, adding this, adding that.  This went on week after week, I’d think I was happy, but I was never satisfied.  www.timetoplay.com, my midlife crisis project, never was able to showcase what I was trying to convey.

Through persistence, and some tears, we finally were able to evolve the concept — Resources for a Better Life.  I swore Leta, my web designer and my friend, who has truly put up working with me since 2005, would come and kill me in my sleep.  But she hung in there, like a trooper, to change pages, links, words, forums, etc., almost weekly.

I’ve worked in healthcare since 1987.  I’ve seen sick and sad people and situations.  I’ve seen people rely on drugs to help them through everything.  I’ve seen people who had been prescribed to take 29 medications a day.  I’ve watched and read literature as our population increases in cardiac illness, diabetes, stress, depression.  And, most of all, where we, the working people, don’t have time left over while trying to get through our day to have quality of life, or had worked so hard all our lives that, at 70 years old, are trying to do everything  to enjoy life before it’s too late.  Luckily I had an epiphany before 70.  At 45 years old I realized I didn’t have quality of life, either — that’s how it started.  My midlife crisis project.  My way to give back.  My way to start the “pebble in the pond” and get people to work together, give resources, help charities and make our own lives better.  You never know how far the ripple will go.

My goal for www.timetoplay.com is to help people — to provide anything I can think of — and more will be added along the way — with resources they can utilize to create a better, happier, healthier life.

From finding something a simple event, to finding a club, to encouraging a person to do something they love or have always dreamed of doing.  And, to inspire them.  That is my ultimate goal.  Life is short.  Get out there.  Do it.  Take the “Pledge to Play” — take 10 minutes a day to do something you love.  It’s a start.

Check it out.  Let me know what you want to see.  We all need to enjoy life.  After all, it is now TimetoPlay.

With Love,

Doreen

TimetoPlay.com Thought of the Day: Our destiny is shaped by our thoughts and our actions. We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

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Positive thinking.  That is something that people advocate.  It has been suggested through books like the Secret that implementing positive thinking can bring on the universe’s power to change a person’s destiny. 

Positive thinking is hard.  Every day, life experiences can bring you down. 

Today’s www.timetoplay.com thought of the day suggests picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and moving forward.  Evaluating a situation and making a POSITIVE decision or change to facilitate a better way of life.  That’s the mission of www.timetoplay.com.  How can we go through each day without taking a few minutes to enjoy ourselves? 

Go to www.timetoplay.com and take the “Pledge to Play” — just start by setting aside 10 minutes a day to do something you love.  I’ve been working on doing this.  It’s not easy.  But, as today’s thought advocates, I will work on adjusting the sails.