Divided We Fall


United We Stand“Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all! By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall!”  –  Founding Father John Dickinson in his pre-Revolutionary War song “The Liberty Song”, first published in the Boston Gazette in July 1768.

I have to be motivated to sit down and write my weekly reflections.  It’s not something I plan, but then some random thought comes to my mind that just doesn’t quit.  Sometimes something bothers me to a point that I may feel compelled to work it through my mind.  I believe there is not only a solution but an opportunity for improvement for everything that we encounter in our lives.  Although “good” is subjective, I believe that if we perceive something as good, there is always an opportunity for it to be better.  If we perceive something to be not good, there is definitely an opportunity for it to be better.

I also try to not be political in my writings here.  This article is, in no way, a political argument or a political statement, but just a reflection on my concerns and unsettled feelings.

So, as it happened, “United we stand, divided we fall” popped into my head sometime today.  With all the craziness that’s been occurring in our world and in our society, this might be a concept that we need to rekindle.

In our communities, there are many things that affect an individual person or an individual group of people.  I believe that, when we become divided, or when we don’t care about each other, there becomes a disconnection and what I believe turns into an “us” against “them” mentality.  Just watch the news to see evidence of stories where this may be an ultimate root cause.  The intention of the Enjoy Life Community™ project that I’ve been working on over these past years has a huge potential to bring people together.  I am confident that this can provide a better life for many.

However, my main thinking today has revolved around the horrific hardships and violence that have been the forefront of our news over these past days.

I read a statistic that there have been 355 mass shootings in the United States in the year 2015.  This is an unconscionable number.  And, what is happening?  We are horrified that an event happens and then we forget…  Or we are horrified for a moment that an event happens — but, for goodness sake, after 355 mass shootings in one year, I think we have become significantly desensitized.

At this point, I have begun to wonder where the people in our communities demanding answers and solutions are.  It is evident that we need to start to work together to protect our communities, our people, and our children.

The United States of America is a unique Country.  It was formed on the principles of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  I think many people currently take our liberties for granted.  So many people don’t vote.  So many people are so silent because they figure it won’t matter anyway.

In our world today, there are so many people who live in fear and in oppression.  And, throughout time, there have been many great empires that have been lost.  I believe we have to assure that the United States stays strong for our children and for our children’s children.

As promised by our Founding Fathers, I believe we are all people with different beliefs and deserve to coexist.  I believe that we are all people and we are all EQUAL.  I believe it is unacceptable for any group to instill fear and/or try to impose their ways on others.

By the end of my weekly articles, I usually have a way to summarize and end my article.  However, in this case, I have no way to create a resolution or a direction for an ending.

All I do know is that this is the United States of America, and I believe that we must address any concerns to protect our way of life.

United We Stand.  God Bless America.

Love, Doreen

# # #

Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.  The concept behind time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE. Please see for more information.

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle

, , , , ,

I started reading The Power of Now yesterday.  I’m only up to page 14, and have seen some promise in this book as part of my journey of discovery.  Bare with me — I have to ramble on a bit to explain things, and I’ll get back to the reason I’m referencing this book in a few moments.  Trust me.

I have to start from the beginning a little so you can see where I’m headed with this.   In 2010 Doreen (by the way, this is about me — just figured I’d tell the story about myself in this manner to make it a little more interesting) was turning 45 years old.  She started to reevaluate her life, and, through situations and circumstance, started, her quest for quality of life.  Don’t get me wrong, Doreen has a great life.  A wonderful, devoted husband, 3 lovely children and a house.  She knows she has more than many, but there was a hole.  Having worked in healthcare for over 24 years, Doreen has seen sick and sad and people with regrets.  If you read the about us on the timetoplay site you will see that she noted that she’s always been searching, never seeing the beauty, joy, etc. around her — she’s always been just too busy.  And, at this point, she realizes she’s created this “busy-ness” as her reality.

We know that so many things get in the way of enjoying life — something I’m sure a majority of the people feel day-to-day.  We just try to get through the day, right?  Getting up, getting everyone out of the house, getting to work, being exhausted, heading home, making/having dinner, falling into bed REALLY exhausted, and starting over the next day.  Days become weeks, the year flys by. . . you know what I’m talking about.  Doreen realized she missed out on the little things, the beautiful sunny day, the smile, the bird chirping.  So, here comes the idea for  She has this brainstorm, “If I feel this way, how many other people are in the same rut?”

So, to the present — I (with a lot of help from Leta) built to help myself learn how to enjoy life, and I figured I’d take a million people along with me.  The timetoplay philosophy is you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance.  All these areas are so important, HOWEVER, you can’t just identify / realize that you have a problem or obstacle, but you have to learn things you can do and easily implement so you can fix the problem or obstacle and . . . bottom line. . . ENJOY LIFE!  After all, we’re all here for a short time. And so many of us seem to be tortured now a days — society’s gotten so many people down. No job, no money, struggling to make ends meet. WHO HAS THE TIME TO ENJOY LIFE? We have to make this a priority. We deserve to enjoy life. Think about it. We do.

I’ve built an amazing team of professionals from whom I’ve already learned so much, and I encourage you to check out the resources on so you can, as I intend to, have a better life and to enjoy life.

Back to The Power of Now:  I’ve only just started reading this book.  On page 12, the paragraph reads: “. . .The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself and from the world around you.  You then perceive yourself, consciously or unconsciously, as an isolated fragment.  Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm”.  This paragraph is regarding enlightenment.  The author is speaking about a disconnect we may feel with our God, spirituality, or our being.  BUT, I also believe it is a disconnect between each other.  So many of us feel the weight of the world on our shoulders.  Again, re: job, financial security or bills, taking care of the family, etc.  Even if that’s not it, maybe we feel alone.  So many of us are so isolated today.  This brings us to the discussion of prescription drugs and how people are using them as a crutch or band-aid.  I have talked about band-aids before in blogs or things I’ve written.  We don’t look for the root cause, which is one of the goals for  Now we go to a doctor and say we feel this way or that way and they write a prescription.  Is is the doctor’s fault a person is addicted to a medication (see article I had referenced, Antidepressants used by 11 percent of Americans:

No, it’s not all the doctors, but US, looking for a way to escape a reality we can’t handle.  A reality society has created and we have created, ourselves.  If people were happy and enjoying life, I really don’t think they would be taking the medications to try to cope.  Other coping mechanisms people use to escape or pacify themselves are eating, alcohol, sex, exercise, smoking, anything in excess.  Anything they can use to try to regain control.

So, join me in my quest.  Here’s the place to join in on the discussion forum under book club and book reviews

Are you reading something that can help someone in their journey, as well?  Please post.  That’s the ultimate goal of  We all have something we can offer each other to help each other have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life.

# # #
Embrace the philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life.

Time for US to Make Things Change

, , , ,

How can we make things change? How many times can we think that someone is going to fix everything for us?  Do we really think a new president will fix it?  The current one will fix it?  “The government will make new jobs”.  “If we wait things will get better”.  Really?  Look at the overwhelming problems  everyone is facing today.  Without becoming political, it does seem frustrating that no one seems to be working together to “fix” stuff.  And, truly, we know that nothing can be done alone.  A baseball team has to be a team.  A football team has to be a team.  Or they won’t win.  That is the same with all of us.  We need to be a TEAM.

It’s no wonder that so many people are defeated.  They have given up.  Some have stopped listening.

So, what should we do?  Give up, too?  That’s not what people in America do.  We band together.  We work together.  We become a TEAM.  A team committed to helping each other enjoy life.

No job?  Should we wait for some big corporation to come in and employ everyone?  Does that work?  Look at the history where whole towns have died when industry leaves.  Or, other times, big employers seem to have you over a barrel (a nice way to say it, right?) when they negotiate salaries and layoffs, and people have no choice.  How about people becoming resourceful and developing their own jobs?  Maybe they can employ others?  Maybe they can build a TEAM?

Let’s keep thinking together.  Americans helping each other.  It’s what we do.  We’re all part of the TEAM.

OK, so there’s more — we constantly hear healthcare is bankrupting our Country and that the obesity epidemic is getting worse.  Many people need to take responsibility for themselves.  If we continue to be unhealthy it will only cost us more in taxes to care for ourselves.  More in taxes means we have to pay more.  Paying more means we have to work harder or make do with less.  I challenge you to do something.

Here’s another one.  How many people go to bed hungry every night?  There are so many AMAZING organizations out there who help.  Some pack backpacks for the kids to go home with at the end of the school week so they have food for over the weekend.  These are band aids and patches.  Not solutions.  Can our communities truly work together throughout the year, not just at holiday time, to figure out what we can do to solve the problems we face?  SOLVE is the key word, here.  Sure can!  We’re a TEAM!

We can go into each area of the timetoplay philosophy but it’s not my intention to preach.  Only to motivate each of us into action.  To work together.  To help each other succeed.  People helping people.  To be a TEAM.

Not Happy?  Do something about it.

Not Healthy? Do something about it.

No Money?  Do something about it.

No work life balance?  Do something about it.

There’s not just one solution but a bunch of different things, working together, that will make things change.  We know the problems.  It’s the power of the people that will make a difference.

What have you done today?  Who did you help?  Let us know (this is the link to the forum – let’s start to keep a tally).  I am building a team committed to a goal to help 1 million people.  And, although many of people feel alone in what they, individually, are facing, we are all part of the team.  If we work together, that’s just the beginning.

It’s time to enjoy life.

# # #

Embrace the philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  Become one of the team with a goal to help a million people.  It’s time to enjoy life.

Occupy Wall Street? We already had The Schwartz Report giving a voice to the people

, , ,

Meet Martin

Grass roots movements are in the news right now with Occupy Wall Street in full swing, but they’ve been around throughout the history of our great Country (example, maybe extreme, but: the Revolutionary War).

Meet Martin Schwartz, a man who has given a voice to the people and a place to share opinions — since 2002.  Martin had written for newspapers about politics for a number of years and was working in an office position in County government.  He realized no one was enabling people to have their voices heard without censorship, in an independent way.   The Schwartz Report was born.

The goal of the Schwartz Report is to educate voters in Nassau and Suffolk Counties of Long Island and enable them to speak their minds — even in the face of obstacles or opposition.  Additionally, Martin hopes the Schwartz Report has enhanced the quality of life of people who live on Long Island, and he believes the site has enabled them to know what’s going on in Government.  After all of these years, the site is still maintained untainted and with a major degree of independence.

When asked about rumors or people posting untrue statements, Martin noted that, mostly, the site reflects true comments that should be taken seriously.  The site has a moderator that cleanses opinions or thoughts that may be detrimental to families or a person’s well being.  He said the moderators are not concerned if comments offend a person, as the comments are a voice of the people.

How does it work?  Users just go on the site,, and start a new thread where people will post comments, or the user can just read what others have to say and may post comments as they feel appropriate.  The site is a measuring device, of sorts, that may point out where problems are — a lot can be learned from negative comments or discussion.  The Schwartz Report lets politicians know if they are acting unfavorably on behalf of their constituents, as well.  Martin noted that he believes The Schwartz Report has even acted a “heads up” to some local newspapers, and has provided reporters with some story leads.

Martin hopes The Schwartz Report will continue to educate masses of people on Long Island.  He is planning on starting a business site in the near future and encourages people (like me!) to work to improve the quality of life of others.

Lesson learned?  Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, as that is the only way things will change

# # #

Embrace the philosophy:  You have to be healthy, happy, have money and a work/life balance in order to have quality of life.  Check out the professional resources and information on  List your events, businesses, clubs, and more (FREE)! is a people helping people project.  It’s time for us to Enjoy Life.

Response from Yesterday's Post Making the World Suck Less and Pursuing a Passion

, , , , ,


In as much as I can’t figure out how to get the comments to post on the wordpress blog so others can see them — if someone knows how, please contact me — I felt this one is something that I should pass on.  This was written by my friend Carol.  She, like many of us, is searching for how to enjoy life.  And, sometimes, due to circumstances (in her case she was laid off), she had the opportunity to pursue a passion to make herself happy.

Read on and think about yourself.  Where are you in your quest for quality of life?  How do you enjoy? Do you stop and smell the roses?

Response From Carol:  “Hey there all! Just wanted to share a little something with you. This may seem silly, but maybe not……
I was laid off in January and have been unable to find any work for the money I was making, so I decided to go outside my box. With my husbands help I have finally been able to “make” my heart smile. I have just started grooming school to become a professional dog groomer and maybe open up my own business in the future. I have helped animals forever and always wanted to help more. I foster when I can, heck I have given a cat a facelift before I had one done on me! Lol…..1,400 dollars later and his lip still sticks a bit and drools sometimes, but he is a happy fellow. My friend took him into her life so I know he is having the best life! :) He was left for dead when someone hit him and kept going as if he had no pain (his skin was literally ripped off his chin) and so many other cars just kept going as well. So sad, where did our compassion go? I also do transports from one place to another when rescue groups save a dog/cat from being destroyed usually within a day or two and heck both my babies are rescues. Anyhew, my point is that I am finally doing something that is meaningful to me. It is just in a little way, but better than nothing at all… right? I know my precious Mother Jeanette is watching me from heaven saving “it is about time Pixie go do something you love”. I only have a small piece of how BIG her heart was, but at least I know I have at least a little piece of her with me forever. I hope this all goes well for me, but if not I tried and I will continue to do so in some other way.”

I say, good for her.  She’s on her way.  We’re all here for a short time.  It’s important to make the most of it.  Pursue your passion.  Make it happen!


Maybe There's Something to a Relative That Steals the Limelight —

, , ,

A relative of mine, I’ll call her “Sue”, has a need to feel important.  I know we all have one in our families.  A person who has to shine, be loud, draw attention, drink too much, etc.  It took me my whole life to realize why Sue acts the way she does.

Sue has had a hard life.  I know she felt her parents favored her sibling, which was really a terrible way to live growing up.  I know she felt she was never good enough.  Her old stories would come out once in a while and she used to comment on how her sibling could do no wrong in the eyes of her parents.  I don’t think she has ever let it go.

Sue’s husband was unfaithful.  That is probably one of the worst things, besides an illness, that you would have to go through.  In seeing her experience this horrible situation, I told my husband, before we were married, that if he felt he had to cheat on me to let me know, that I would release him from our relationship rather than go through what Sue experienced.

Sue remarried.  I know her relationship with her new husband is good some of the time, but he has moments when he is truly unkind.  I also think that he values hunting and watching sports on TV more than spending time with her, which is really sad.

So Sue looks for ways to make herself happy.  She shops and she bakes.  Baking has become an obsession.  She makes cookies, chocolate or cakes and brings them to family functions, work and parties.  When she brings the baked goods to an occasion she has to show off the dessert — even at inconvenient times.  I never could understand it.  You could be pouring out a pot of boiling water and Sue would be there with a cake in your face telling you to check it out and to see how beautiful it was, etc.  When Sue bakes, the baked goods MUST be the center of attention, no matter what the occasion — even during a Sweet 16 or a wedding, when baked goods really should not be all that important.

I never really thought much about it except that it would annoy me to the point where I would become frustrated and angry.  I knew Sue meant well and had worked hard to create whatever she baked, which made me feel even worse that I was frustrated and angry over the whole attention seeking situation in the first place.

I have been reading a lot and things have become a little clearer to me lately.  A book I read, The Answers, by Karen Garvey, talks about people doing the best they can at the present time.  The fact that I could not figure out why baked goods had to be such a big deal annoyed me.

Today the lightbulb finally went off.

I don’t think Sue has ever felt important.  Not in her whole life.  Not to her parents, her first husband, or her second husband.  She needs to feel important.  And she feels important when she shows off her baked goods.

Think of others you might know that buy flashy cars, fancy clothing, maybe things they cannot afford, or someone who does things that are shocking.  Why?  I guess they are looking for something.  Maybe they’re trying to find a way to fill a void.

So I realize that, sometimes, we need to look a little deeper into why someone is doing something to understand.  You know Newton’s Law, to every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction — even though this isn’t physics related, I think this could apply here.  Sue’s feelings cause her actions.

acknowledging why she behaves the way she does will allow me to modify my reaction.  Without much effort, I know I can make Sue feel important and shine.  And, maybe, one day Sue will realize she is important and enable herself to be happy.

### — resources for a better life.  Hey – We’ve Built It!  Now we need you to use it!  Post your clubs, events, stories, businesses and more!  Find resources on  how to get happy, healthy, have money and get out fo the office faster.  Check it out!

A Labor of Love

, , , , ,

Today is the day the site “launches”.  It is finally done.  And the TimetoPlay van is rolling!

We’ve worked on this for over 10 months.  “It’s done”, I’d declare.  But, it was not done.  We’d go back to the drawing board, adding this, adding that.  This went on week after week, I’d think I was happy, but I was never satisfied., my midlife crisis project, never was able to showcase what I was trying to convey.

Through persistence, and some tears, we finally were able to evolve the concept — Resources for a Better Life.  I swore Leta, my web designer and my friend, who has truly put up working with me since 2005, would come and kill me in my sleep.  But she hung in there, like a trooper, to change pages, links, words, forums, etc., almost weekly.

I’ve worked in healthcare since 1987.  I’ve seen sick and sad people and situations.  I’ve seen people rely on drugs to help them through everything.  I’ve seen people who had been prescribed to take 29 medications a day.  I’ve watched and read literature as our population increases in cardiac illness, diabetes, stress, depression.  And, most of all, where we, the working people, don’t have time left over while trying to get through our day to have quality of life, or had worked so hard all our lives that, at 70 years old, are trying to do everything  to enjoy life before it’s too late.  Luckily I had an epiphany before 70.  At 45 years old I realized I didn’t have quality of life, either — that’s how it started.  My midlife crisis project.  My way to give back.  My way to start the “pebble in the pond” and get people to work together, give resources, help charities and make our own lives better.  You never know how far the ripple will go.

My goal for is to help people — to provide anything I can think of — and more will be added along the way — with resources they can utilize to create a better, happier, healthier life.

From finding something a simple event, to finding a club, to encouraging a person to do something they love or have always dreamed of doing.  And, to inspire them.  That is my ultimate goal.  Life is short.  Get out there.  Do it.  Take the “Pledge to Play” — take 10 minutes a day to do something you love.  It’s a start.

Check it out.  Let me know what you want to see.  We all need to enjoy life.  After all, it is now TimetoPlay.

With Love,


Celebrate Life

, , , , ,

It’s Time to Notice the Beauty in Everything

So, even though, my “Quest for Quality of Life“, is in its infancy, it has been helpful for me so far.  Although not quite done, it has started to drive an awareness in me that I have never experienced.  I have made a conscious effort to take note of the world around me — to take notice of little things this Spring, like the leaves “popping” on the trees and the flowers blooming.  These are things that I have missed being so wrapped up during my workaholic years.

Although not fully cured, and still a workaholic, I’m noticing myself smiling more.  Being happy.  Appreciating my life.

This morning there was continuing coverage on Osama Bin Laden.  They showed the inside of the million dollar mansion he was hiding out in.  Granted, I am sure it was ransacked during the happenings inside during the raid, but seeing the pictures it seemed far from luxurious or palatial.   This made me think.  Look at what we have in our Country.  Look at how we live.  How lucky we are to live in the United States.  How lucky we are to have our soldiers fighting for our freedom and fighting to keep us safe.  They are fighting for America and our way of life — our freedom and prosperity.  Granted there are people in the U.S. who struggle, but we all have the ability to make a wonderful life here.

Recently I have been around a lot of Veterans.  Tonight I heard a story from a gentleman who was in Vietnam and drove a car that went over a bomb.  Thankfully he is here to live to tell about it.  There are many stories that our Veterans can tell.  And they have pride that never goes away.

I am lucky enough to work for a facility that cares for Veterans.  I recently went to an pep rally where they were preparing for an “olympics” type event.  I have provided the link to a pep rally that was held last week — it was totally amazing, energetic.  Not only were the Veterans beaming, but so was everyone else in the event center.  It’s worth a minute to see:  LISVH Pep Rally 

I’m also working on a fundraiser for  It’s important to me to try to help the people who have served.  To show them that we appreciate them and thank them for their sacrifice.  With our servicemen and women fighting so far away I feel they sometimes become forgotten. gives Veterans who need it emergency financial assistance.  It’s not just the recent Veterans but could be any Veteran who served who may not be able to buy heating oil or their medication.  I’ve provided a link to the fundraiser that I’m working on to help this volunteer organization, as well: Fundraiser

So. . . Celebrate Life.  Celebrate others.  Celebrate the contributions each of us made or can make to make our world a better place.  If we all do a little part we can make miraculous things happen.

### intention is to help people find resources for a better life.  We are looking for contributors and professional resources to add content, clubs and organizations to post their information so others can find them, “places to play”, events, and businesses to post their information too — if you don’t have a good business, you don’t have any quality of life.  Call Doreen at 631-331-2675 or email: to learn how you can add your information FREE.

Happy Holidays to Our Troops

, ,

I attended a packing evening for Jacob’s Light Foundation Tuesday night.  Dorine Kenny is the founder of the foundation.  She lost her son 7 years ago in Iraq.  Before he was killed she would send him care packages.  She continued to send them to other soldiers after he died.  After all these years the whole operation has grown.  Eleven months a year she sends 285 care packages per month and has so far sent over 400,000 pounds  of supplies and goodies to the troops overseas. 

How did I find her?  The residents in a skilled nursing facility I work for wanted to do a fundraiser for our troops overseas.  I had heard of Jacob’s Light a few years ago during a news broadcast and searched her out.  Jacob’s Light is truly a grass roots organization run on private donations, fundraisers and some grants.  One grant will expire next year so she does need a funding source to keep this amazing organization going.

From socks to lotion, baby powder, to chapstick, pasta, peanut butter, and more, the volunteers — there must have been over 100 people there to help — pick and pack with love.  Tonight I brought 1,387 letters that had been collected as part of the fundraiser we did at the nursing home.  The letters were heartfelt expressions of thanks from some of our local school children.  A letter will be placed in each box that is shipped.

While there I met a gentleman who raises money to buy phone cards.  It is his goal to put a $5 phone card in each box shipped every month throughout the year, which will require $14,000 in donations.  A $5 phone card gives a soldier 2 hours of talk time to call home.

This was a wonderful event where people who could otherwise do nothing to help our soldiers came together to make our troops feel like they are not forgotten.  We do hear so little of what is going on overseas unless something happens to one of our men or women — our sons and daughters. 

It was amazing to be part of an organization that remembers our people — and, whether our soldiers are stationed here or oversees, to recognize the freedoms they help protect and allow us to enjoy.

It was noted that support for our troops shouldn’t only come at holiday time.  They need to know we support them year round.

Maybe one day there will be peace.

For more info on Jacob’s Light Foundation:

Update from a recovering boring-a-holic

, , , , ,

Woo Hoo!  What a weekend. 

I actually didn’t work over last weekend.  Believe that?  Here’s the recap: 

The wine and cheese on Friday was lovely — caught up with old friends I haven’t seen in forever.  I never made it to the bar to hear the band play that evening as it wound up being late after the first function (I can’t even believe I had two fun things to do on one night!!!).

On Saturday we attended the Special Olympics Polar Plunge.  What an excellent event!  So many people had such big hearts to raise money for these athletes.  Did you know it costs Special Olympics $400 to train each one?  Then, off to coffee with another old friend I hadn’t seen in months.   

Sunday was a bit cold, but also rewarding, as we participated in the Teddy Bear run with our Red Knight’s motorcycle club.  Smiles for children for the holidays!!!  And, then to a Thanksgiving Dinner with another group of friends.

So many charities, so many people with big hearts.  And, who would ever think you can have a bunch of fun while helping so many people (I did — I do it all the time — but it’s great to share this thought).  If you want to go out, why not make it a combined event with helping people.  If everyone chipped in a dollar. . . what a better world this could be.

Thanksgiving is Thursday, and I’ll be looking for some excitement for this weekend, too.  Once you get a taste, fun is kinda great . . .