Posts

The Bitter Pill of Dissatisfaction

,

During this stage in my life, I’m rapidly shedding behaviors, thoughts and responses that don’t serve my intention of maintaining and sustaining an internal foundation of happiness – regardless of my external circumstances. This shedding of worn out, destructive behavior, is a welcome change from how I used to live. Honestly, I was emotionally worn out. I needed to make a shift in order to find the peace in mind I longed for. It’s really very simple – when my priorities changed, my life changed. Over a period of time, I chose to make my internal well-being the only focus of my attention.

Recently, I experienced an ongoing feeling that has challenged me for decades. This feeling does not mix well with my present daily focus of maintaining well-being (aka happiness). That feeling is, the feeling of dissatisfaction. I don’t know about you, but I’ve lived most of my adult life feeling dissatisfied with one thing or another. Yes, it was time to “feel” a different feeling and shed the lousy feeling of dissatisfaction once and for all.

Have you ever thought about where the feeling of dissatisfaction originated? We were not born with the concept of dissatisfaction. No, we were not born with this destructive (in my opinion) useless emotion. We all were fortunate (jk) enough to learn, accept and embrace this cancerous feeling of dissatisfaction as “normal”. I could spend a week listing ALL the things I can remember feeling dissatisfied about. What about you? I compiled a short list below, in no particular order, of what I used to feel dissatisfied about.
 
Weight – Looks – Bank Account – Getting Older – Time – Circumstances – Job Co-workers  Marriage – Divorce – Mother and/or Father – All relatives – Boyfriends Girlfriends – Husband (Sorry Steve-O) – Birthdays – Holidays – Traffic – Weather – Vacations – Fitness Level – Responses (from other people) – Haircut (yes, I said haircut), blah blah blah!
 

In a prior newsletter I discussed the Law of Attraction. When I began to really understand and accept the Law of Attraction as a real force, I was compelled to make necessary changes in my life. I’d like to remind you that the Law of Attraction is actively working regardless of whether or not you believe it does. You will continue to attract more reasons to be dissatisfied, until you stop and change your perspective about what is really happening in your life.
 
Can Satisfaction Be Guaranteed?
 
Look in the mirror and ask yourself – do you like and accept what you have, or, is your attention focused on what you don’t have? How do you feel about YOU today? Can you look in the mirror and feel a sense of pride and satisfaction in what you see? Can you feel satisfied with who you are? Can you feel satisfied with what you have accomplished? Is it even possible to feel satisfied about everything in your life? I say YES! And now, I will share how.
 
The higher your level of awareness is, the more likely you’ll feel satisfied with who you are, where you are, your circumstances and your experiences. Yes, my friends, feeling satisfied is an inside job. No amount of money or external things can bring you the internal feeling of satisfaction you seek. Satisfaction begins and ends inside of you.
 
How do You Raise Your Level of Awareness?

I’m glad you asked.There are several ways to raise your level of awareness and I will share a few of my favorites.

No. 1
Know, without a doubt that you are not alone. In every moment of your life, you have access to an energy force that creates worlds! You are the physical extension of that energy force. And you are just as powerful.

 No. 2
Whenever you feel “out of whack” ask the Universe for guidance and then, breath and RELAX. When you ask it is always given. (Side-bar: I’m not talking about asking for things, I’m talking about asking the Universe for peace in mind.) When your priority is peace in mind, there’s nothing that will have the ability to shake your world. Nothing.

No. 3
Make a commitment to be different than you have been in the past.

No. 4
Announce, out loud, that your heart is open and is willing to accept all that is given. As your mind, heart, and body become more open, you will begin to feel different. You will begin to know what it’s like to live in an open, flowing state of being, instead of living in an unconscious state of old habits and patterns.

No. 5
Announce, out loud, that you love your life! Accept all experiences and accept that the Universe does not make mistakes – regardless of how anything “appears”.

No. 6
Ask the Universe to keep you focused on the present moment and release the rest. Begin to focus on your marvelous, spectacular daily journey, and not the outcome.

No. 7
Love is patient and love is kind. Learn to be patient and kind with yourself. Become your own best friend.

Remember, whatever you’ve learned, you can unlearn!

There are two ways of being rich. One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied and in love with what you have. ~Unknown

 

 

BE The Change You Want To See In The World

,

When you think something is going wrong in your life you have three ways to respond. You can (1) complain (to yourself, or others) (2) blame (yourself or others) or (3) change (yourself). If life doesn’t go according to your plan or your expectations, how do YOU respond? I’m asking this because I used to spend a lot of my valuable time complaining and blaming without a thought of what I was creating for my future moments. Admittedly, I didn’t know I had other options, but now that I know I can change my thoughts and my behavior, I’m on board.

When I used to complain, guess what I discovered? I never had a shortage of circumstances or people to complain about. Never. The complaint “well” never ran dry. Yes, I was able to complain at any given time, 24-7, 365 days a year. The supply of complaints was endless. What’s even worse – and laughable – is that I thought complaining was “normal”. Look around, or more importantly, look in the mirror. I don’t know too many people that don’t complain on a daily basis. You?

Don’t think for a minute that complaining was the only thing on my “to do” list. No, I also liked to blame everybody and anybody (but myself) for my unhappiness. Oh, I loved that one. Take responsibility for my unhappiness? No thank you – especially, when there’re so many other people to blame. Right?

It was only when I consciously made happiness my number one priority, did I make the decision to change my behavior.

Why is it So Important to Change?

The Universal Law of Cause and Effect is no joke. The Law of Cause and Effect states that for every action, there is an equal reaction. This is extremely important because WHATEVER action (cause) you emit, you will receive a corresponding reaction (effect). And, by the way, it doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in the validity of the Universal Laws. Whatever you cause, you will experience an equal effect. There are no exceptions to the Laws of the Universe. None. Ninguno. Aucun. Méiyǒu. Keine.

What’s the Solution?

When I started accepting that everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) that happened to me was actually a blessing and/or a valuable lesson, I changed my thoughts. I also changed my reaction to the circumstance. When I changed my thoughts and my reactions, I automatically changed my behavior. I began asking, “How is this experience serving me”? As I started to look for the good in the otherwise “bad” situation, my focus changed from finding what’s wrong, to discovering what’s right! It may sound cRaZy, but it works for me. Without question, I’m much happier now.

Great things flow effortlessly to all who are accountable for their actions. I encourage you, my dear friends, to take accountability to the next level. When you realize you have the power and the ability to change your behavior, life gets easier and you will smile (inside and out) a lot more.

Added Bonus: When YOU change, the world changes!

Follow My Rules – Or Else!

,

I’d like to share an undisclosed secret about myself, but only if you promise not to tell a soul. Promise?

I used to have countless rules for other people to follow in order for me to be happy. That’s right—rules for other people to follow and obey so that I would be happy. I actually expected other people to behave in a manner that would make me happy! It was true: if someone in my life didn’t follow my rules, I wasn’t happy; and immediately, if not sooner, we had a conflict. Thank God I can reflect back and laugh at how outrageously pompous I used to be.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a male friend of mine who shared a personal story. My friend is a kind, considerate “nice guy”—a nice guy with rules. One of his rules is that when he extends a courtesy, he expects the same type of behavior in return. For example, when Mr. Nice Guy holds the door open for anyone, including a stranger, he expects his “gentlemanly” behavior to be immediately rewarded with a thank-you. If the person neglects to acknowledge his considerate actions, Mr. Nice Guy gets pissed off. He told me that, in his perspective, the absence of immediate recognition is extremely inconsiderate. He expects a thank-you when he holds the door open for anyone.

Side bar: All expectations subtract from your happiness.

In reality, Mr. Nice Guy has expectations of how other people should act. He desperately needs other people to respond to him the way he expects them to or he becomes annoyed or, worse, angry. The problem with this logic is, when you depend on anyone else to behave in a manner you think is appropriate and they disappoint you, you’re actually depending on someone else’s behavior to dictate your own happiness. As hard as you may try—and I’ve tried for decades, you will never be able to control someone else’s response or behavior—ever.

If I choose to extend a favor to someone, I cannot count on, and more importantly, depend on, receiving anything back in return. Not even a thank-you. Years ago, if I had extended a courtesy to someone and they didn’t immediately thank me, I too, would have labeled them inconsiderate. Very inconsiderate. That’s because I had an agenda: I will be nice to you, with expectations of you behaving nicely to me. Let me clarify. It’s nice to receive appreciation for my acts of kindness, however, it’s no longer necessary for someone else to dictate how I’m going to feel based on what they do or what they don’t do. I refuse to give away any of my power.

Today when I decide to extend a courtesy to anyone, I do it because I want to. I have zero expectations of what anyone else does or doesn’t do. When I made a conscious decision to eliminate expectations, agendas, and rules from my life, guess what happened? I became much happier.

Today, thank me or don’t thank me. Either way, I’m going to remain happy because now my happiness solely depends on one person…me. No longer does my happiness depend on what someone else does or doesn’t do. Yes, today my happiness depends on ME and the countless choices I make throughout the moments of my day.

Remember, a guaranteed formula for happiness has only one ingredient—you.