“First” vs. “Best”

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There has been a lot of talk about “Firsts” lately.  What does “First” really mean?

So, I got to thinking…

As far as achievement, I believe “First” is a milestone.  For example, “first” steps, “first” car, “first” words.

Merriam – Webster dictionary defined the adjective of “First” as: coming before all others in time, order, or importance (

“Firsts” can, also, perhaps, encourage others and provide examples to others on how they can move forward and achieve, too.  I believe motivating others and encouraging others is truly important.  I believe it’s our personal responsibility to strive and grow and to help others do the same.

“Firsts” are definitely important, but are they the MOST important?  “Firsts” can provide people a vision to build upon and then to achieve beyond what was “first”.

Throughout the development of the concepts behind the Time to Play Foundation, I have come to realize and believe that everyone has something to offer that can help someone else.  I say all the time that we are all not going to be “Oprah” – Oprah is Oprah and we are ourselves — but imagine if we each contributed a tiny bit… if we each used a little of our gifts, expertise and personal power to move things forward, to make our communities better, to reach out and help another.  Imagine the impact this could make.  If all of the “regular” people really worked together…

I believe moving forward and making things happen is incredibly important, and do not believe that we, as a whole, have an ability to stay stagnant.  People have incredible imaginations.  At this point in my life I do not believe that anything anyone can come up with is impossible.  I think that if you dream it, you can do it.  Look at the 3-D printer – who can even believe such a thing is possible?  Look at how far technology and modern conveniences have come in just the recent past.  Our grandparents would not even believe it.

This brings me back towards achievement, motivation and “Firsts”.

Personally, I believe “Bests” are even more important.

Think about it.  If you put an ad in the local newspaper to watch your children or your dog, would you hire the “First” person that answers the ad or the “Best” to be able to take care of your prized possession?

Would you put your money in the “First” bank you drive to or the “Best” and most responsible?

Would you have an operation with the “First” doctor you visited or the “Best” to perform the surgery?

These are a few things just to get you thinking.  We have to be careful and responsible with our personal choices.  We have to research and we have to trust that we make the right decisions for all things that affect our lives and the lives of our children.

“First” or “Best” can make a dramatic difference.  “Firsts” give us a starting point that provides us with the fuel to create “Bests”.

Today, look at what you are and what you have achieved… then look at what is your passion.

We have all accomplished “firsts”.  Let’s continue to strive and grow.  We can have the “BEST” life ever.

Just imagine the possibilities.

After all, it is time to enjoy life. It is Time to Play.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified social and emotional intelligence coach, certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.  The concept behind time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE. Please see for more information.

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Conformance and Judgment

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Bruce Jenner

On the day after Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer, thoughts come to mind.

Not just about what feelings Bruce has had to live with throughout her life, but about conformance, judgment and labeling.

It’s really quite simple. I can sum it up in two words. “WHO SAYS”?

This simple term can be applied to pretty much anything. “WHO SAYS” anyone of us is doing the “right” thing, and who decides what is right and what is wrong? “WHO SAYS” how we should live, how we should act, how we should dress, or how we should behave?

WHO decides where we should work and what is acceptable?

WHO decides what is dangerous or what is not, what is good for us and what is not, what defines pretty and what defines ugly, or what is “smart” and what is “dumb”?

Hopefully you get the idea…

Perhaps the biggest point for my discussion here – and perhaps the most thought provoking: “WHO SAYS” and decides how we should be labeled?

I believe labeling is probably the worst and most destructive function we have in our entire society. Once you label someone or something it could create detrimental consequences.

Just look around.  We label everything and everyone.

We are and we become “these people” and “those people”.

WHO SAYS Bruce Jenner is any different than any one of us?

She is a human being with feelings and needs. Just because people don’t conform with “the social norm” does not make them “wrong”.

I have been doing a lot of research these past years as part of the Time to Play project in reference to what people need to achieve quality of life. I’ve recognized that once we label a person “depressed” or “no good” or “sick” or “dumb”, they live up to their labels.

I believe that once you label a person as “wrong” you put them at risk for self harm. In reference to Bruce Jenner and others that are “different”, did you know that the members of the LGBT community have one of the highest rates of suicidal ideation and self-harm? Do you care? Why do you think this is so?

Just imagine having feelings of being “different” (again, WHO SAYS who is “wrong” or who is “different”). Imagine trying to personally accept feelings of being “different” and deal with the potential judgment and prejudice that you will face as being “different”. Imagine how you will feel if society does not accept you. Imagine dealing with the reactions of family and friends.

Why do you think so many people hide so many things in their lives? Why do you think so many topics are “taboo”? Think of all the ramifications for a person who does not feel good about themselves and the self-destructive behaviors that can result.

What are we doing to our people – our loves ones – by creating an environment where people hide, resulting in potential harm to themselves and/or others?

It’s something to think about and something that we, together, can change. I commend Bruce for opening a much needed area for discussion, and, hopefully acceptance for many.

After all, WHO SAYS we can’t all live together in harmony and enjoy life?

It’s time to play. It’s time for all of us to enjoy our lives.


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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life.  Please see for more information.