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"You're as Beautiful as You Feel"

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Carol KingI’m still exhilarated from experiencing “Beautiful,” the Carole King Musical on Broadway yesterday. The incredible music that magically touched my soul is not the only aspect of the performance which is causing me to feel this way.  A powerful factor in my excitement is that her story completely brings to life the exact concept that I encourage my coaching clients with every day.

This show brings us Carole’s answer to the empowering question that I often pose to my clients: “What did you feel held back from in your previous relationship that you can now accomplish?”

The amazing musical genius, Carole King, lacked the confidence to write the lyrics and perform the incredible music she composed during the younger part of her life. She depended upon her husband’s talent for lyrics, was blinded by her love and admiration for him, and didn’t expand her self-confidence.

When Carole went through the painful, disappointing, and frightening demise of her marriage, she was vulnerable and weak, wondering how she could possibly endure personally or professionally. Somehow, she intuitively found her inner wisdom and her courage which led her to compose, write the lyrics, and sing for her platinum Grammy winning album, Tapestry, and to make her mark on the world forever as an iconic female rock star.

What did YOU lack the confidence to accomplish during your previous relationship? If you can identify that significant answer, challenge the beliefs that continue to hold you back, and break out of your comfort zone, you too can reach the stars that you were meant to reach. Your voice can be heard whether you sing or not, your talents can be recognized, and your gifts can be appreciated by all those who you share them with. Use the enormous power you possess to make it happen. Then, much like Carole King, you will create a new life that is truly “Beautiful.” How would that feel?

Time for Maintenance?

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Car maintenance

With maintenance

I woke up thinking about my daughter’s boyfriend and his car.  There seem to be a bunch of things wrong with it, all at the same time, which we expect will cost a lot of money to fix.  Last night he was sitting at our kitchen table, dismayed. 

Of course there is never a budget to use for this type of purpose – when something unexpectedly breaks.  In this case, we all understand how hard our lives are without transportation, and, I’m sure we all have been in this same type of situation.  I, personally, don’t know anything about cars and maintenance.  The only thing I know about a car is that you put the key in to turn it on to make it go.  One day, maybe, I’ll tell you how I added oil through the little dip stick thing when I knew it needed some.  When I was around 19 years old, because of lack of my preventative maintenance, I had to replace a transmission at a most inopportune time in my life.  Of course it was also at a time when I had no money to pay for it.

That started me thinking about how we ignore things like that “engine knock” until we can’t ignore it anymore.  I’m not just speaking about ignoring maintenance that our car or home may require, but “maintenance” for our own bodies, our minds, and more.

There’s a saying by an unknown author, “Pay now or pay later. But pay you will”.  This can be associated with every part of our lives if you think about it.  If we ignore our health, we will pay for it sometime in the future.  If we ignore our relationships, our jobs, our clients, our kids, our faith, our …. well, pretty much everything…. we might just wind up paying for it in a way that will be displeasing to us down the line. 

If I’m not being clear enough, I’ll define what I’m trying to explain a little further.  If we ignore the things in our lives like our health, jobs, or loved ones, we might wind up with a negative outcome that we certainly may not want: we may become sick, we might lose our job, or we might have a displeasing relationship.  If we choose to ignore our negative thinking or something internally bothering us, that might, too, affect every area of our day including our health and performance. 

Think about it.  The concept of not devoting time for maintenance to things that we should attend to, both internally and externally that affects our lives, can lead to unfavorable outcomes. 

This proactive-type of thinking ties into the Time to Play Philosophy: you need to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  If you really think about it, this concept is very valid.  But, many times we ignore things because we don’t have time to address them, or we ignore things because we just don’t want to deal with something.  In my observations and my own experience, if you ignore something long enough, it will eventually come back to “bite you”.

What to do?  Take an evaluation of your health, happiness, financial situation and work life balance.  Those things you have pushed aside for way too long.  Make a list of priorities of where you can BEGIN to address these things.  Need to lose weight?  Need to look for a new job?  Need to start that retirement or college savings account?  Need to find a way to better organize or delegate at work so you can enjoy more freedom and flexibility? 

Yes, looking proactively at your life situations instead of the easy way out (for now) of ignoring things may seem overwhelming.  The “for now” in that sentence re-emphasizes that ignoring is easy – for now – but may not provide you with an easy end.  My philosophy is to learn what you need to know to enjoy life.  That’s why I started Time to Play.  So I could regain control over things that would enable me to better enjoy MY life. 

Look at your list.  What can you do to make one small change… just one baby step… to start to do that “maintenance”?  I believe that one small change is better than no change at all.  And, you may be surprised to find that once you start to make little changes, your life may become more pleasant and settled.

Time for maintenance?  Take a look.  It’s definitely easier to “pay” now with a little prevention than to “pay” later with negative health, marriage, job loss, or worse.

If you need a jump start, we have all sorts of coaches to help you in your journey to make changes or improvements.  Just give us a call at 631-331-2675 or email: info@timetoplay.com

It’s time to enjoy YOUR life!  It’s Time to Play!  www.TimetoPlay.com = Resources for a better life.  

How to Shift From Breakup to Breakthrough

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Now that the two of you have split, parts of you are probably feeling frightened and therefore clinging to familiarity. Although you may not be inclined to do so, consider loosening your grip on the past and beginning to experience the profound benefits of broadening out of your comfort zone. You can initiate achievable steps in that direction right now. Extricate yourself from “your side of the bed,” and venture into taboo territory. Roll over to the center, stretch out, hog all the covers, and make as much noise as you like. Now prop yourself up on all of the pillows and read on.
The following is an easy to navigate list to gently guide you out of your comfort zone and into the world of new possibilities. Approach the list at your own pace, perhaps one reflection per day, or one per week. Allow yourself the quiet and privacy that you deserve while you reflect upon what each step means specifically for you.

1. Although it may not be easy to envision, the challenge of divorce can be accompanied by significant opportunity that would not have otherwise presented itself. Identify one goal that you can accomplish now, that you could not have achieved during your marriage. For example, you might go back to school, take up yoga, lose weight, or start your own business.
2. Divorce can often cause our confidence and self-esteem to waver. Recognizing your positive traits is essential at this time. Identify one of these special personality or character traits that can show itself more clearly now than previously. Is it your resilience that is revealing itself, or perhaps your independence?
3. When we are involved in a difficult life transition, we tend to focus inward. Going beyond ourselves is an effective way to find meaning and put our issues into perspective. Identify one new strategy to contribute in some small way towards helping others or impacting the world. For you, maybe it’s volunteering in a literacy program, joining a political club, or “Walking for the Cure.”
4. When you want to see changes in your life, reaching out for support is an important part of the process. Identify three professionals, friends, or family members who can fill this role.
5. Developing a positive vision for yourself can be enormously empowering and can help you stay focused and goal oriented. Create this future image. How do you want to see yourself in five years? Let this vision guide you.

Applying these reflections has been transformative for me and that’s exactly what can happen for you. That’s why I’ve co-created this complimentary workshop with Sherri Donovan, Esq. Together; we will guide you to shift “From Breakup to Breakthrough.” I will coach you through strategies to deal with the emotional and practical aspects of divorce and Sherri will guide you through the legal aspects of divorce. Feel free to bring your questions.

Join us for “From Breakup to Breakthrough” on December 2, 2013 from 6:30 – 8:00 at Sherri Donovan & Associates, P.C. – The Family Center – Downtown Manhattan
Registration required: http://frombreakuptobreakthrough.eventbrite.com/
Questions: Heidi at coachheidik@gmail.com
www.reinventionlifecoaching.com