I like to learn and observe. It’s how I understand things and how I grow. Over and over again I have become more aware of examples of behaviors that completely adversely affect others. I truly believe, deep down, that we might not actually realize our impact on another person and the effect it might have.
I recognize the idea of cause and effect and know that something a person may experience may cause a domino affect in their behavior. That domino affect can cause them to act inappropriately to another. Again, sometimes we may just get caught up in the situation we are experiencing and might not even realize what our impact on another may be.
I believe this is a very hard topic to discuss without making someone angry. I started thinking about this topic this morning after receiving a text from my son. He was at work, and he texted that if he could not transfer stores he was quitting his job. He is currently having a bad experience with a coworker. I felt so bad for him because I can feel his pain. We’ve all most likely been there and can all agree that it’s an experience that is so unnecessary.
That got me to thinking about a news report I saw only a few days ago on TV regarding people’s dissatisfaction at their jobs and the huge statistic that had been reported as part of the story regarding bullying in the workplace. I did Google to try to find the report and came up with an article published on Forbes.com on 9/18/14: http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathryndill/2014/09/18/one-in-five-workers-has-left-their-job-because-of-bullying. The article discussed that nearly 1/3 of people have experienced bullying, a statistic that crosses over gender and racial lines; men, women, Caucasian, Asian, African-American – it doesn’t matter. The article also discussed that people in management positions were also experiencing bullying. In the article a woman named Rosemary Haefner was quoted in a statement that, “Bullying impacts workers of all backgrounds regardless of race, education, income, and level of authority within an organization.”
Just imagine how the behavior of one or more in a workplace affects others. In a work situation, the unfortunate scenario is that many people cannot just quit a job because of family obligations. The behaviors of others can significantly impact a person where they will be so affected and frustrated and stressed that they will not be able to let the feeling go; hence the domino effect. How do you think they will interact with others if they have to deal with a situation that is disturbing to them? A situation they know they cannot change and that is causing significant distress in their lives? And, how does this effect the atmosphere in the workplace as a whole and, to go further, the lives of their family and friends?
The information in the article is not new. Just Google bullying in the workplace – there are many articles available for you to read. I’m sure there is also a lot of information in studies available, in general, about the impact of making others feel badly about themselves.
History will repeat itself if we let it. This is something I wrote in my book, If I Knew then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life (www.IfIKnewThenBook.com). I also discussed the saying “Words Cut Like a Knife” in the book. Both of these statements are, sadly, true.
I believe it is so important to really think about the impact we have on others – what we say, what we don’t say, and our actions.
Have you promised someone you would do something and then gone back on that promise? If it’s your child, it could be something so simple like playing ball or going for ice cream – something so simple that can have a negative impact on them for years to come.
How about a spouse? Have you promised something and not followed through? How about something you promised a friend, or a co-worker? Have you kept your promise or obligations? Have you returned that call, email or text???
Our actions, or non-actions, can make impacts others that we may not even consider. You know how our brains work and how people sometimes dwell on things. I hate to even go there, but, I believe that sometimes what we say, do, or don’t say to another can even cause a situation so significant that it can have a life or death impact.
I believe we’re here to encourage others, to embrace the dreams of others, to make things happen. I believe we are people that are supposed to help people.
I personally live by the mindset of people helping people and collaboration = success.
I believe that when we respect each other and when we work together magic WILL happen.
Stop fighting. Stop blaming. Stop finding fault. Stop not following through.
What have you promised?
What will your actions do to another? Will they help them or hinder them?
Think before you speak or act . . . something that may seem so simple or not important to you might really cause someone to hurt inside very deeply and impact their lives in a truly negative manner.
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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, Inc., a 501c3 corporation with the mission and purpose to enrich the lives of others through programs, public awareness outreach activities, events and learning opportunities that further the concept of enjoying life. – See more at: www.TimetoPlayFoundation.org