That Takes Nerve

Everyone has plenty on their “list” of things in life that they want to do, but for some reason or another we tend to put them off.  Say to yourself, “Am I putting this off because I really don’t want to do it or I’m just not finding the time?”

Find the time. That’s what I tell my clients. If you don’t find the time, you may never get to it and regret it. What I see in practice are people who have great ideas and dreams but they go unrealized due to a lack of focus. Does one choose to be unfocused? Of course not. It’s because, in our minds, more important things come in the way. But, again, you have to say to yourself, “What is more important then fulfilling my dreams?” Here is how to get it done and have memories that last a lifetime.

First you need to clearly identify what the dreams are. It’s a very important step. When I ask someone in therapy, “What makes you happy?” — it should be the easiest question to answer. But it becomes the most difficult for people. Ask yourself that question and answer it honestly. Do you really know? Then ask yourself, “What makes me sad or upset?” Pull up a chair and take a seat, because you’re going to be answering that for a long time! Why do we do that to ourselves? Is it just society? Is it our view of a quick-paced life? Or is it about going deeper, really digging deeper to know what truly makes you happy…? Ask yourself these questions and be ready for the answers.

Then once you’ve done this, plan to achieve one of the goals of enjoyment you discovered was important. Maybe it’s a round-the-world-trip, or taking up a hobby you always dreamed of. One step deeper and maybe you may need to seek help from a therapist to find true happiness, which I can tell you is something everyone owes himself or herself. Here is the advice that will make this happen: focus on the goal you want to achieve, focus on a timeframe to get it done, and then go for it. No excuses and no looking back. Make memories happen for yourself and the people you love in your life. Follow these steps and I can bet you it will become second nature, and happiness will follow. And with true happiness comes a healthier and longer life. Is it worth it? You tell me. I can tell you it’s the best gift you can give yourself. We have one life to live, our fears and dreams, all at once. Take the leap of faith and have the nerve to do it and enjoy it. Sometimes try not to take the time to think, but just act. I would love to hear your stories of making this happen; let me know how it turns out for you. It is as life-changing as it sounds.

Authored by: Matthew Gelber

Are you unhappy, stressed or depressed at home? At Work? At School? Do you find yourself yet again in another relationship doomed for failure? Is Intimacy or trust lacking in your relationship? I am an experienced and compassionate therapist who helps individuals, couples and families achieve favorable outcomes in different areas of their lives.

I ask constructive questions, provide supportive non-judgmental feedback and insight, and help you add meaning and vitality to your life. I believe in your personal happiness, which leads to a better life and relationship. 

My background includes, Univ. of New York at Stony Brook, Chestnut Hill College, Eagleville Hospital, Main Line's "Top Doc", published articles and weekly "Your Life" column in Main Line Newspapers. Our common goal: to make your life better."


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