No matter how much I read, am educated, or grow older, I find myself continuing to do this. How many of us jump to conclusions because something “seems” like _____________ — you fill in the blank.
“She does not like me”, “My boss picks on me”, “The store clerk did this on purpose”….. you get the idea.
Guess what. Have you ever heard this saying, “Sometimes things aren’t always what they seem” – unknown
Yes, this is true. The trick is for us to remind ourselves of this fact when our mind starts fabricating the “what if’s” or jumping to conclusions.
The key, I believe, is to ASK the person what they mean, their intention behind their behavior, etc. versus jumping to our own conclusions because, in my experience, I continuously find that what I think is the exact opposite of what is actually occurring.
Our homework for today – reach out. Maybe your mom or your friend hasn’t called not because she’s mad at you but because she’s just busy. Maybe your boss gave a responsibility to someone else not because he “hates” you or is going to fire you but because there is something more important you will need to do for the organization where you work.
Let’s look at the positive instead of the negative. Let’s find out motives behind actions instead of jumping to conclusions. I believe it is much healthier that way.
Just to be fair, when I was looking for who said, “sometimes things aren’t always what they seem” I did find an additional part that someone wrote. I found it to be both encouraging and discouraging and I thought I’d include it and discuss it. You’ve heard the saying “life isn’t always a bed of roses”, right? Sometimes we need to deal with things that happen and move on.
Here is what I had found: “Sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes people who you trust the most in the world will stab you in the back, your best friend betrays you, and the person you thought would never hurt you..will. Life is full of disappointments, but life itself isn’t a disappointment. Life is hard, and would be easier if things were just easy and nobody ever hurt us, but things don’t work that way. Life is a mountain waited to be climbed, with help…or alone. And it’s not impossible, i mean…someone climbed Everest…didn’t they?” – Unknown
So, what is this saying to us? Sometimes things don’t go as we planned. Sometimes “sh**” happens. The author of this definitely had a disappointment. Sometimes we each have something that does not go our way, but we need to move forward. We need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and find a way around the “obstacle” to move forward. We recently published a book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life. (www.IfIknewThenBook.com), which talks about just that. We all have undesirable experiences, but we have a choice of how we act / react. We either stay where we are and wallow in self-despair, or we move forward. We can use our experience to be sad and depressed and waste our days, years, and lives, or we can become stronger and move mountains.
In the end, each minute, hour, and day, it is up to us on how we act and react. It is up to us whether we let things stand in our way or achieve.
I know it is hard to not jump to conclusions, but the trick is to stop and evaluate and then act. We are all smart. We just have to apply our smartness sometimes. Not sure if smartness is a word, but you get what I mean.
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